is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
