So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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