Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
