Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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