FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
