I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
