I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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