they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
