i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
