I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
