i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
pray to the hookup gods
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
