I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
