i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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