is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
