I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
