you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
