I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
