If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
