I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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