4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize