Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
