I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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