There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
