so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
