Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
