this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
