just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
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