if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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