apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
