You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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