All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
