just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
