Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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