My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
