She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
