I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
