You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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