Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
