What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
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