How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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