She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
