she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
