her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
