Im at strip club and am horny
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
