Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
