If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
