I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
