I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my shit smells like andre
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
