Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
