plz talk dirty to me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Houston, we have a blender
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
