life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
false alarm. still invincible.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
