i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
